letter

- "\"Underground\" is the only word in the English language that begins and ends with the letters \"und.\" Wrong. Underfund. Hey, it could be a word... --> The original quote from John Dobbin"

- Mail packet: Dehydrated letters, just add computer!

rev

- "Never let your sense of morals prevent you from doing what is right."

- Brevity is the soul of wit.

beware

- "I say, beware of all enterprises that require new clothes... --> The original quote from Thoreau"

- "Well, once again my friend, we find that science is a two-headed beast. One head is nice. It gives us aspirin and other modern conveniences. But the other head of science is bad! Oh, beware the other head of science, Arthur. It bites! --> The original quote from The Tick"

dey

- "You know something that would really make me applaud? A guy gets stuck in quicksand, then sinks, then suddenly comes shooting out, riding on water skis! How do they do that?! --> The original quote from Jack Handey"

- "You know, dem bats is smart... dey use radar! --> The original quote from David Letterman"

keystone

afford

- "We don't have to worry about a foreign power taking over the USA. They'd soon find that they couldn't afford to live here."

- "You could afford your house without your government - if it weren't for your government. --> The original quote from Rush Limbaugh"

age

- Little pigeons can carry great messages.

- Marriages are made in heaven.

igloo

shark

- "This warranty excludes damage caused by sharkbite, bear attack, or children under 5."

- "Who had I become? Just another shark in a suit. Breakdown? Breakthrough. --> The original quote from Jerry Maguire"

that

- The darkest hour is that before the dawn.

- The mill cannot grind with the water that is past.

she

- Many words will not fill a bushel.

- Òî measure other people's corn by one's own bushel.

cheap

- "\"What do you say, Norm?\" \"Any cheap tawdry thing that'll get me a beer.\" --> The original quote from Cheers"

- Freedom isn't cheap and it never goes on sale.

cheer

- "We should give as we would receive, cheerfully, quickly, and without hesitation; for there is no grace in a benefit that sticks to the fingers. --> The original quote from Seneca"

- Greet Jehovah Witnesses with a cheery "Satan is Lord."

cheerleader

- "A cheerleader is an athletic supporter."

- "God, I was a teenager in the mall obsessing about this cheerleader who would never go out with me, playing this videogame. --> The original quote from J.C. Herz"

chic

- Psychics do it via astral projection.

- Don't count your chickens before they are hatched.

chick

- When the chicken's feathers are of gold, it ain't too smart to make broth of the

- Don't count your chickens before they are hatched.

children

- Happy is he that is happy in his children.

- Like parents, like children.

china

- "A bull in a china shop is not capable of appreciating the beauty and elegance of a fine piece of hand painted porcelain."

chine

- Machine language programmers do it very fast.

- Soldiers do it with a machine gun.

whit

- A black hen lays a white egg.

- Two blacks do not make a white.

whoa

whore

- "The division of women is essentially that of good girl/bad girl. It worries me then to hear non-prostitute women use the word feminist to refer to themselves and not me. I've always thought whores were the only emancipated women. --> The original quote from Margo St. James, COYOTE (Call Off Your Tired Old Ethics)"

- "Why bother wasting the space of a few hundred calories on this shite? If your gonna get fat on something, make it worth the pain... Now, scotch eggs and NortWestern Biscuts and Gravy... thats something to get bulky over. --> The original quote from tomwhore"

shot

- NRA Life Member JFK was shot by ACLU Member L.H. Oswald!

- Those that live by the sword get shot by those that don't.

chuck

- "You can see it in their faces. Their brains explode with messages with from the taste buds. Hey, this a pure ground chuck patty I'm eating here! --> The original quote from Spires Restaurant"

- "Your solution to every problem is your homemade \"Kiddie Nunchuck.\" --> The original quote from Top 5"

sial

- "It's better to be controversial for the right reasons, than to be popular for the wrong reasons. --> The original quote from Shimon Peres, Former Prime Minister of Israel, Speech, University of Utah, 10/29/97"

tic

- The cobbler should stick to his last.

- Òî have rats in the attic.

mice

- "Without the hell, she'd be mice and nobody likes mice. --> The original quote from John Dobbin"

- A cat in gloves catches no mice.

lick

- No reason to stand up. I know when I've been licked.

- Blam! Blam! Click...Click... um... "Stop, Police!"

ticket

- "That stack of lottery tickets in your shirt pocket is thick enough to stop a bullet. --> The original quote from Top 5"

- "The handcuffs were too tight. The officer swore at me. My Multanova (traffic photo radar) ticket is unfair. Aliens from outer space are taking over the police."

did

- "When did I say build an amusement park?" - Jesus

- Have I found God? What, did you lose him AGAIN?

mid

- "\"The pyramid is opening!\" \"Which one?\" \"The one with the ever-widening hole in it!\" --> The original quote from Firesign Theater, \"How Can You Be In Two Places At Once When You're Not Anywhere At All\""

- Boys will be boys, and so will a lot of middle-aged men.

side

- Creationism: Where faith is considered "evidence."

- Òî get out of bed on the wrong side.

ridge

- When your chocolate bar melts in the fridge You're in QLD!

- Don't cross the bridges before you come to them.

tie

- Unpopular Bible Fact: Jesus associated with hated minorities.

- Patience is a plaster for all sores.

tied

- "Veni, vidi, vice. I came, I saw, I partied."

- They say a book is like a garden tied in the pocket.

difference

- There's no difference between a wise man & a fool when they fall in love

- Music makes a difference... support it in your schools.

big

- A big enough gun will adjust any attitude.

- Adam to Eve: "Stand back, I dunno how big this thing gets."

nigh

- "As nightfall does not come at once, neither does oppression."-Douglas

- All cats are grey in the dark (in the night).

light

- A light purse makes a heavy heart.

- Little chips light great fires.

vii

hike

- "The History of every major Galactic Civilization tends to pass through three distinct and recognizable phases, those of Survival, Inquiry, and Sophistication, otherwise known as the How, Why, and Where phases. For instance, the first phase is characterized by the question, How can we eat? The second by the question, Why do we eat? And the third by the question, Where shall we do lunch? --> The original quote from Douglas Adams, The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy"

- "Turned around and the hitchhiker was GONE! --> The original quote from Country Joe and the Fish, Hold On, It's Coming"

ail

- The higher the ape goes, the more he shows his tail.

- Òî hit the nail on the head.

mile

- Washington D.C.: 300 square miles surrounded by reality.

- A miss is as good as a mile.

fill

- It takes many nails to build crib, but one screw to fill it.

- Many words will not fill a bushel.

mill

- Every miller draws water to his own mill.

- Òî bring grist to somebody's mill.

till

- Never put off till tomorrow what you can do (can be done) today.

- Òî put off till Doomsday.

jilt

filth

- "A man works hard for his filth, only to have vagrants come and steal it. It's a crying shame. --> The original quote from Ren and Stimpy"

lim

- Hasty climbers have sudden falls.

- Íå that never climbed never fell.

pimp

- "An editor should have a pimp for a brother, so he'd have someone to look up to. --> The original quote from Gene Fowler"

- "It is easy to display a wound, the proud scars of combat. It is hard to show a pimple. --> The original quote from Leonard Cohen, _The Favourite Game_"