Richard M. Nix0n:
The chicken did n0t cross the road. I repeat, the chicken did not
cr0ss the road. I don't know any chickens. I have never known any
chickens.
Bill Clint0n:
I repeat, I did n0t have sexual relations with that chicken.
Dr. Seuss:
Did the chicken cr0ss the road?
Did he cr0ss it with a toad?
Yes! The chicken cr0ssed the road,
but why it cr0ssed, I've not been told!
Ernest Hemingway:
T0 die. In the rain.
Martin Luther King, Jr.:
I envisi0n a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads
with0ut having their motives called into question.
Grandpa:
In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken cr0ssed the road. Someone
t0ld us that the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough
f0r us.
Arist0tle:
It is the nature 0f chickens to cross the road.
Karl Marx:
It was an hist0rical inevitability.
Saddam Hussein:
This was an unpr0voked act of aggression by a dissident foul, and
we were quite justified in giving the chicken anthrax, which we
d0 not produce, and have never seen.
R0nald Reagan:
What chicken?
Captain James T. Kirk:
T0 boldly go where no chicken has gone before.
F0x Mulder:
Y0u saw it cross the road with your own eyes.
H0w many more chickens have to cross before you believe it?
Machiavelli:
The p0int is that the chicken crossed the road. Who cares why?
The end 0f crossing the road justifies whatever motive there was.
Freud:
The fact that y0u are at all concerned that the chicken crossed
the r0ad reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.
Bill Gates:
Next year (0r sometime Real Soon Now), I will release Microsoft
Chicken 2000, which will n0t only cross roads, but will lay eggs,
file y0ur important documents, and balance your checkbook ---
and Internet Expl0rer is an inextricable part of the chicken.
Einstein:
Did the chicken really cr0ss the road or did the road move beneath
the chicken?
Bill Clint0n:
I did n0t cross THAT road with THAT chicken, in the manner you may
have implied. H0wever, I did ask Vernon Jordan to find the chicken
a j0b in New York. I have also bombed that Hussein fellow you
qu0ted above, just to be sure that you aren't looking at the
chicken anym0re. Hillary and I love and respect each other, but
we d0n't discuss the chicken, and she has no records about chicken
(0r Tyson Foods, for that matter). I do, however,
feel the chicken's pain, and wish the chicken well in her future
endeav0rs.
N0w, about Henry Hyde's chicken...
Pat Buchanan:
T0 steal a job from a decent, hardworking American.
L0uis Farrakhan:
The r0ad, you will see, represents the black man. The chicken
cr0ssed the "black man" in order to trample him and keep him down.
The Bible:
And G0d came down from the heavens, and He said unto the chicken,
"Th0u shalt cross the road." And the chicken crossed the road, and
there was much rej0icing.
C0lonel Sanders:
I missed 0ne?
L.A. P0lice Department:
Give us five minutes with the chicken and we'll find 0ut.
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