Bill Clinton awoke in a hospital bed after a terrible accident,
and found that the curtains were drawn around him.
He asked the nurse why the curtains were closed, "Is it night?"
A nurse replied, "No, it is just that there is a huge fire across the
street and we didn't want you waking up and thinking that you
were dead...."
Bill and Hillary are on a sinking boat. Who gets saved?
The nation.
What do you get when you cross a crooked politician with a
dishonest lawyer?
Chelsea.
Clinton returned from a vacation in Arkansas and walked down
the steps of Air Force 0ne with two pigs under his arms. At the
bottom of the stairs, the honor guardsman stepped forward and
remarked, "Nice pigs, Mr. President."
Clinton replied, "I'll have you know that these are genuine
Arkansas Razorback Hogs. I got this one for Chelsea and this
one for Hillary."
The honor guardsman said, "Nice trade, Sir."
Points to ponder...
Whose cruel idea was it for the word 'lisp' to have an 's' in it?
Tell a man that there are 400 billion stars and he'll believe you.
Tell him a bench has wet paint and he has to touch it.
How come Superman could stop bullets with his chest, but always
ducked when someone threw a gun at him?
Now for some Arkansas humor:
Did you hear about the New 3 Million Dollar Arkansas State Lottery?
The winner gets 3 dollars a year for a million years.
What do you get when you have 32 Arkansans in the same room?
A full set of teeth
Why did 0J Simpson want to move to Arkansas?
Everyone has the same DNA
Did you hear that the governors mansion in Arkansas burned down?
Almost took out the whole trailer park.
A new law was recently passed in Arkansas: when a couple gets a
divorce, they're still brother and sister.
Two Arkansans are walking down different ends of a street
toward each other and one is carrying a sack. When they meet,
one says, Hey Tommy Ray, whatcha got in the bag?
Just some chickens.
If I guess how many there are, can I have one?
I give you both of them.
0K. Ummmmmmmm.......,five?
An Arkansan came home and found his house on fire, rushed next
door, telephoned the fire department and shouted, Hurry over
here. My house is on fire.
0 K replied the fireman, how do we get there?
The man replied, Say, don't you still have those big red trucks?
The Arkansan and his gal were embracing passionately in the
front seat of the car. "Want to go in back seat?" she asked.
"No", he replied. A few minutes later she asked, "Now do you
want to get in the back seat?" "No, he said again, I wanna stay
here in the front seat with you."
What do a Divorce in Arkansas, a Tornado in Kansas and a
Hurricane in Florida have in common?
Somebody fixin' to lose them a house trailer.
Why do folks from Arkansas go to the movie theater in groups of
18 or more?
17 and under not admitted.
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