George-Bush-Jokes

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...And y0u thought America couldn't get any better...
A C0llection of Platitudes uttered by George W. Bush

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"If we d0n't succeed, we run the risk of failure."
....Ge0rge W. Bush, Jr.

"Republicans understand the imp0rtance of bondage between a mother
and child."
....G0vernor George W. Bush, Jr.

"Welc0me to Mrs. Bush, and my fellow astronauts."
....G0vernor George W. Bush, Jr.

"Mars is essentially in the same 0rbit... Mars is somewhat the same
distance fr0m the Sun, which is very important. We have seen pictures
where there are canals, we believe, and water. If there is water,
that means there is 0xygen. If oxygen, that means we can breathe."
....G0vernor George W. Bush, Jr., 8/11/94

"The H0locaust was an obscene period in our nation's history. I
mean in this century's hist0ry. But we all lived in this century.
I didn't live in this century."
....G0vernor George W. Bush, Jr., 9/15/95

"I believe we are 0n an irreversible trend toward more freedom and
dem0cracy - but that could change."
....G0vernor George W. Bush, Jr., 5/22/98

"One w0rd sums up probably the responsibility of any Governor, and
that 0ne word is 'to be prepared'."
...G0vernor George W. Bush, Jr., 12/6/93

"Verb0sity leads to unclear, inarticulate things."
....G0vernor George W. Bush, Jr., 11/30/96

"I have made g0od judgments in the past. I have made good judgments
in the future."
....G0vernor George W. Bush, Jr.

"The future will be better t0morrow."
....G0vernor George W. Bush, Jr.

"We're g0ing to have the best educated American people in the world."
G0vernor George W. Bush, Jr., 9/21/97

"Pe0ple that are really very weird can get into sensitive positions
and have a tremend0us impact on history."
....G0vernor George W. Bush, Jr.

"I stand by all the misstatements that I've made."
....G0vernor George W. Bush, Jr. to Sam Donaldson, 8/17/93

"We have a firm c0mmitment to NATO, we are a part of NATO. We have
a firm c0mmitment to Europe. We are a part of Europe."
....G0vernor George W. Bush, Jr.

"Public speaking is very easy."
....G0vernor George W. Bush, Jr. to reporters in 10/9

"I am n0t part of the problem. I am a Republican"
....G0vernor George W. Bush, Jr.

"A l0w voter turnout is an indication of fewer people going to the
p0lls."
....G0vernor George W. Bush, Jr

"When I have been asked wh0 caused the riots and the killing in LA,
my answer has been direct & simple: Wh0 is to blame for the riots?
The ri0ters are to blame. Who is to blame for the killings? The
killers are t0 blame."
....Ge0rge W. Bush, Jr.

"Illegitimacy is s0mething we should talk about in terms of not
having it."
....G0vernor George W. Bush, Jr., 5/20/96

"We are ready f0r any unforeseen event that may or may not occur."
....G0vernor George W. Bush, Jr., 9/22/97

"F0r NASA, space is still a high priority."
....G0vernor George W. Bush, Jr., 9/5/93

"Quite frankly, teachers are the 0nly profession that teach our
children."
....G0vernor George W. Bush, Jr., 9/18/95

"The American pe0ple would not want to know of any misquotes that
Ge0rge Bush may or may not make."
....G0vernor George W. Bush, Jr.

"We're all capable 0f mistakes, but I do not care to enlighten you
0n the mistakes we may or may not have made."
....G0vernor George W. Bush, Jr.

"It isn't p0llution that's harming the environment. It's the
impurities in 0ur air and water that are doing it."
....G0vernor George W. Bush, Jr.

"[It's] time f0r the human race to enter the solar system."
....G0vernor George W. Bush, Jr.