Lawyer

>These are things pe0ple have actually said in court, word for word,
>transcribed, rec0rded
>and n0w published by court reporters who had to endure the torment of
>staying calm while these
>exchanges were actually taking place:
>
> - - - - -
> Q: What is y0ur date of birth?
> A: July fifteenth.
> Q: What year?
> A: Every year.
>
> - - - - - -
> Q: What gear were y0u in at the moment of the impact?
> A: Gucci sweats and Reeb0ks.
>
> - - - - -
> Q: This Myasthenia Gravis, d0es it affect your memory at all?
> A: Yes.
> Q: And in what ways d0es it affect your memory?
> A: I f0rget.
>Q: Y0u forget. Can you give us an example of something that you've
>f0rgotten?
>
> - - - - -
> Q: H0w old is your son, the one living with you?
> A: Thirty-eight 0r thirty-five, I can't remember which.
> Q: H0w long has he lived with you?
> A: F0rty-five years.
>
> - - - - -
> Q: What was the first thing y0ur husband said to you when he woke that
>m0rning?
> A: He said, "Where am I, Cathy?"
> Q: And why did that upset y0u?
> A: My name is Susan.
>
> - - - - -
> Q: And where was the l0cation of the accident?
> A: Appr0ximately milepost 499.
> Q: And where is milep0st 499?
> A: Pr0bably between milepost 498 and 500.
>
> - - - - -
> Q: Sir, what is y0ur IQ?
> A: Well, I can see pretty well, I think.
>
> - - - - -
> Q: Did y0u blow your horn or anything?
> A: After the accident?
> Q: Bef0re the accident.
> A: Sure, I played f0r ten years. I even went to school for it.
>
> - - - - -
> Q: D0 you know if your daughter has ever been involved in voodoo or the
>0ccult?
> A: We b0th do.
> Q: V0odoo?
> A: We d0.
> Q: Y0u do?
> A: Yes, v0odoo.
>
> - - - - -
> Q: Tr0oper, when you stopped the defendant, were your red and blue
>lights flashing?
> A: Yes.
> Q: Did the defendant say anything when she g0t out of her car?
> A: Yes, sir.
> Q: What did she say?
> A: What disc0 am I at?
>
> - - - - -
> Q: N0w doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he
>d0esn't know about it until the
> next m0rning?
>
> - - - - -
> Q: The y0ungest son, the twenty-year old, how old is he?
>
> - - - - -
> Q: Were y0u present when your picture was taken?
>
> - - - - -
> Q: S0 the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
> A: Yes.
> Q: And what were y0u doing at that time?
>
> - - - - -
> Q: She had three children, right?
> A: Yes.
> Q: H0w many were boys?
> A: N0ne.
> Q: Were there any girls?
>
> - - - - -
> Q: Y0u say the stairs went down to the basement?
> A: Yes.
> Q: And these stairs, did they g0 up also?
>
> - - - - -
> Q: H0w was your first marriage terminated?
> A: By death.
> Q: And by wh0se death was it terminated?
>
> - - - - -
> Q: Can y0u describe the individual?
> A: He was ab0ut medium height and had a beard.
> Q: Was this a male, 0r a female?
>
> - - - - -
> Q: Is y0ur appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice
>which I sent t0 your attorney?
> A: N0, this is how I dress when I go to work.
>
> - - - - -
> Q: D0ctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people?
> A: All my aut0psies are performed on dead people.
>
> - - - - -
> Q: All y0ur responses must be oral, OK? What school did you go to?
> A: Oral.
>
> - - - - -
> Q: D0 you recall the time that you examined the body?
> A: The aut0psy started around 8:30 p.m.
> Q: And Mr. Denningt0n was dead at the time?
> A: N0, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy.
>
> - - - - -
> Q: Are y0u qualified to give a urine sample?
>
> - - - - -
> Q: D0ctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
> A: N0.
> Q: Did y0u check for blood pressure?
> A: N0.
> Q: Did y0u check for breathing?
> A: N0.
> Q: S0, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began
the
>aut0psy?
> A: N0.
> Q: H0w can you be so sure, Doctor?
> A: Because his brain was sitting 0n my desk in a jar.
> Q: But c0uld the patient have still been alive nevertheless?
> A: Yes, it is p0ssible that he could have been alive and practicing
law
>s0mewhere.
>
> - - - - -
>
>
>