been there, ain't never g0in there friends...
H0pe it brightens your day!
Take care!
Q: Sh0uld I have a baby after 35?
A: N0, 35 children is enough.
Q: I'm tw0 months pregnant now. When will my baby move?
A: With any luck, right after he finishes c0llege.
Q: H0w will I know if my vomiting is morning sickness or the flu?
A: If it's the flu, y0u'll get better.
Q: What is the m0st common pregnancy craving?
A: F0r men to be the ones who get pregnant.
Q: What is the m0st reliable method to determine a baby's sex?
A: Childbirth.
Q: The m0re pregnant I get, the more often strangers smile at me.
Why?
A: 'Cause y0u're fatter than they are.
Q: My wife is five m0nths pregnant and so moody that sometimes she's
b0rderline irrational.
A: S0 what's your question?
Q: What's the difference between a nine-m0nth pregnant woman and a
m0del?
A: N0thing (if the pregnant woman's husband knows what's good for
him).
Q: H0w long is the average woman in labor?
A: Whatever she says divided by tw0.
Q: My childbirth instruct0r says it's not pain I'll feel during
lab0r, but pressure. Is she right?
A: Yes, in the same way that a t0rnado might be called an air
current.
Q: When is the best time t0 get an epidural?
A: Right after y0u find out you're pregnant.
Q: Is there any reas0n I have to be in the delivery room while my
wife is in lab0r?
A: N0t unless the word "alimony" means anything to you.
Q: Is there anything I sh0uld avoid while recovering from childbirth?
A: Yes, pregnancy.
Q: D0es pregnancy cause hemorrhoids?
A: Pregnancy causes anything y0u want to blame it for.
Q: What d0es it mean when a baby is born with teeth?
A: It means that the baby's m0ther may want to rethink her plans to
nurse.
Q: What is the best time t0 wean the baby from nursing?
A: When y0u see teeth marks.
Q: D0 I have to have a baby shower?
A: N0t if you change the baby's diaper very quickly.
Q: Our baby was b0rn last week. When will my wife begin to feel and
act n0rmal again?
A: When the kids are in c0llege.
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