StagesOfLif

THE MALE STAGES OF LIFE
AGE DRINK
17 beer
25 v0dka
35 sc0tch
48 d0uble scotch
66 Maal0x

SEDUCTION LINE
17 My parents are away f0r the weekend.
25 My girlfriend is away f0r the weekend.
35 My fiancee is away f0r the weekend.
48 My wife is away f0r the weekend.
66 My sec0nd wife is dead.

FAVORITE SPORT
17 sex
25 sex
35 sex
48 sex
66 napping

DEFINITION OF A SUCCESSFUL DATE
17 "t0ngue"
25 "breakfast"
35 "She didn't set back my therapy."
48 "I didn't have t0 meet her kids."
66 "G0t home alive."

FAVORITE FANTASY
17 getting t0 third
25 airplane sex
35 menage a tr0is
48 taking the c0mpany public
66 Swiss maid/Nazi l0ve slave

WHAT'S THE IDEAL AGE TO GET MARRIED?
17 25
25 35
35 48
48 66
66 17

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THE FEMALE STAGES OF LIFE

AGE DRINK
17 Wine C0olers
25 White wine
35 Red wine
48 D0m Perignon
66 Sh0t of Jack with an Ensure chaser

EXCUSES FOR REFUSING DATES
17 Need t0 wash my hair
25 Need t0 wash and condition my hair
35 Need t0 color my hair
48 Need t0 have Francois color my hair
66 Need t0 have Francois color my wig

FAVORITE SPORT
17 sh0pping
25 sh0pping
35 sh0pping
48 sh0pping
66 sh0pping

DEFINITION OF A SUCCESSFUL DATE
17 "t0ngue"
25 "Free meal"
35 "A diam0nd"
48 "A bigger diam0nd"
66 "H0me Alone"

FAVORITE FANTASY
17 tall, dark and hands0me
25 tall, dark and hands0me with money
35 tall, dark and hands0me with money and a brain
48 a man with hair
66 a man

HOUSE PET
17 Muffy the cat
25 Unempl0yed boyfriend and Muffy the Cat
35 Irish setter and Muffy the Cat
48 Children fr0m his first marriage and Muffy the Cat
66 Retired husband dabbles in taxidermy, stuffs Muffy the Cat

WHAT'S THE IDEAL AGE TO GET MARRIED?
17 17
25 25
35 35
48 48
66 66

IDEAL DATE
17 He 0ffers to pay
25 He pays
35 He c0oks breakfast the next morning
48 He c0oks breakfast the next morning for the kids
66 He can chew breakfast