nab

- Be reasonable...Let's do it my way.

- And the truth shall make you free, or at least reasonably priced.

rabbi

- "The grabbing hands, grab all they can, all for themselves, afterall, it's a competitive world. --> The original quote from Depeche Mode"

- If she's a ski bunny, I'd like to show her how rabbits DO IT.

rabbit

- "It is difficult to produce a television documentary that is both incisive and probing when every twelve minutes one is interrupted by twelve dancing rabbits singing about toilet paper. --> The original quote from Rod Serling"

- If she's a ski bunny, I'd like to show her how rabbits DO IT.

babe

- "You know it, babe, but our love can never be, because I already belong to another. Besides, you're too young and innocent for the life of a rock and roll wife. --> The original quote from Billie Joe to Laurie L."

- As innocent as a babe unborn.

table

- If vegetables are so good, why aren't they for dessert?

- Vacation (n.): Where you are when you COULD be comfortable!

lace

- The Bible is an opiate to keep the beasts of burden complacent.

- There is a place for everything, and everything in its place.

pace

- Mathematicians do it in spaces.

- Are the taglines too long, or is the tagline-space to sh

race

- Liberace was great on the piano, but sucked on the organ.

- "The embrace of love held too tightly can destroy." - The Iron Circle

bachelor

- "Why do bachelors like smart women? Opposites attract."

- A bachelor is one who is footloose and fiance free.

back

- The last straw breaks the camel's back.

- Òî rob one's belly to cover one's back.

sack

- An empty sack cannot stand upright.

- Honour and profit lie not in one sack.

bad

- Money is a good servant but a bad master.

- Self is a bad counsellor.

dad

- "The Hebrew school teacher asked one of his students if she said prayers before meals. The proud little girl answered, Oh, not me. I don't have to - my dad's a good cook."

- "When you and your momma had an argument, it was a battle of the wits... Nit versus Dim. Then your dad joined, and it was Nit versus Dim verses Half."

pad

- Glass blowers do it with cherry paddles.

- The beggar may sing before the thief (before a footpad).

sad

- Jockeys do it in the saddle.

- If life were logical, MEN would ride sidesaddle.

tad

- "Zen is like a man hanging in a tree by his teeth over a precipice... Why did Bodhidharma come to China from India? If the man in the tree does not answer, he fails; and if he does answer, he falls and loses his life. Now what shall he do? --> The original quote from Douglas Hofstadter, Godel Escher Bach"

- "\"GOD\" is an acronym which stands for \"GOD over Djinn\". The word \"Djinn\" is used to designate Genies, Meta-Genies, Meta-Meta-Genies, etc. It is a Typeless word. --> The original quote from Douglas Hofstadter"

bade

- "The California DMV forbade the license plate UKFAUYA. Why?"

made

- A thief passes for a gentleman when stealing has made him rich.

- No man loves his fetters, be they made of gold.

lady

- "Whenever I see an old lady slip and fall on a wet sidewalk, my first instinct is to laugh. But then I think, what if I was an ant and she fell on me. Then it wouldn't seem quite so funny. --> The original quote from Jack Handey"

- "Your husband isn't dead, lady. He's hiding. --> The original quote from Denis Leary"

cafe

- "Just remember, black pepper does NOT count as a vegetable, no matter what the nice man behind the cafeteria counter tells you."

- "Shoes are required to eat in the cafeteria, socks can eat wherever they want."

safe

- Know guns be safe... No guns nobody's safe!

- Our safety which art in hollow-point, Hydra-Shok be thy name.

safety

- You will be awarded a medal for disregarding safety in saving someone.

- Our safety which art in hollow-point, Hydra-Shok be thy name.

bag

- Guns don't cause crime any more than flies cause garbage.

- Jesus may love you, but I think you're garbage wrapped in skin.

lag

- Collage: French institute of higher education.

- Custom is the plague of wise men and the idol of fools.

nag

- Managers make others do it.

- Programmers manage to do it with floppy disks.

sag

- Of all noises, music is the least disagreeable.

- Thoughts in this message are weirder than they appear.

page

- "Writing tip: The number of arbitrary constants per page should not exceed .42."

- Many pages make a crowded castle.

eagle

- "Where does a ten ton eagle sleep? Anywhere he pleases."

- It's hard to soar like an eagle when you are surrounded by turkeys.

magnet

- "God runs electromagnetics by wave theory on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. The Devil runs them by quantum theory on Tuesday, Thursday, and Saturday. --> The original quote from William Brag"

- "We are in great haste to construct a magnetic telegraph from Maine to Texas; but Maine and Texas, it may be, have nothing important to communicate. --> The original quote from Henry David Thoreau"

jaguar

yah

- "Wayne's World... The Next Generation... Sheyah right... As If..."

paid

- I think, therefore I am paid.

- Since 1982, the US Postal Service has paid for itself WITHOUT taxes.

raid

- If you're not afraid to face the music you may some day lead the band.

- Don't be afraid of flying. Be afraid of crashing.

said

- I thought about being born again, but Mom said "no."

- Easier said than done.

fail

- Hmm ... the above paragraph fails all intelligence scans.

- Success comes from the threat of failure.

sail

- "Well, at least you are doing recreational activities. If I had people around that I could sail with, or raft with, or take to a reunion as my lesbian date, I probably wouldn't spend as much time watching movies either. --> The original quote from Richard Goodman"

- "\"What do you say to a beer, Normie?\" \"Hiya, sailor. New in town?\" --> The original quote from Cheers"

mailbox

- "Why do they have mailboxes in front of the post office? I mean, you're already there..."

rain

- Money spent on the brain is never spent in vain.

- Òî lay by for a rainy day.

vain

- "One who finds no satifaction in himself seeks for it in vain elsewhere. --> The original quote from La Rochefoucauld"

- An old dog barks not in vain.

rainbow

- "The soul would have no rainbow had the eyes no tears."

- "Weekends are a bit like rainbows; they look good from a distance but disappear when you get up close to them. --> The original quote from John Shirley"

hair

- Dentists do it in chairs.

- Black clothes: Ideal tool for removing cat hair from furniture.

haircut

- "I've been wondering lately why famous people don't sell things like hair clippings from haircuts and toenail clippings and such. I think there's a massive untapped market out there. --> The original quote from John Dobbin"

- "Never ask the barber if you need a haircut or a salesman if his is a good price."

daisy

- "A daisy chain is no stronger than its weakest dink."

waitress

- "Guy walks into a restaurant. Orders eggs. The waitress asks How would you like those eggs cooked? The guy says Hey, that would be great."

- "You've been a wonderful audience, I'll be here all week. Don't forget to tip your waitress. --> The original quote from Ace Ventura"

raj

- "The problems with the USSR and Hubble are nuclear arms and unclear mars. --> The original quote from Vijay Rangarajan"

yak

- "Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, but when they lit a fire in the craft it sank... proving once and for all that you can't have your kayak and heat it, too."

- Kayakers do it, roll over, and do it again.

bake

- "Who needs teenagers anyway? All they do is get baked and watch TV. --> The original quote from Baked Potatoes"

- Hot bun bakers DO IT crossly.

cake

- "You know you're getting old when the candles cost more than the cake. --> The original quote from Bob Hope"

- Life is not all cakes and ale (beer and skittles).

fake

- "You'd really spend about a hundred dollars for fake testicles for your cat? I'm not sure I'd spend that for fake testicles for myself. --> The original quote from John Dobbin"

- The secret of success is sincerity. Once you can fake that, you have it made.

rake

- "You might be a redneck if you've ever raked leaves in your kitchen."

- Bumpersticker: "I brake for tailgaters."